A few days ago, Cordelia had a friend over. She’d also been asking for several days prior to that to make Jello jigglers, because said friend had never had them before and she was dying to introduce them to her. How you get to be 15 without ever having Jello jigglers is a mystery for another day, but I was happy to oblige.
I hadn’t been to the store yet, and got daily reminders from my teenage daughter to not forget the Jello. The day before the friend's visit, I got the Jello. Cordelia helped me make enough for both after dinner dessert that night, plus snacks for her and her friend the next day.
While we were making the Jello, the little kids were super excited about it, and we talked about how it had to go in the fridge for 3-4 hours, but we had enough to share for dessert after dinner, and the rest would be for Cordelia and her friend.
Basically, the most exciting and important thing in my life for days was this Jello.
The kids had their Jello after dinner, the rest was saved for the teenagers the next day, and that should have been that except for what happened the next morning.
Our kids are almost always awake by 6am, and Justin is almost always up by then working east coast hours in California. He gets them up and out of bed, situated with first breakfast, and usually lets them watch Bluey until I get up by 7.
That morning when I came downstairs, I saw that the kids had eaten more Jello as their morning snack and all I could think was how the hell did he think it was ok to give the little kids Cordelia’s Jello???
“Um, why are they eating Cordelia’s Jello?”
“Cordelia’s Jello?” Hadn’t he paid attention to my single comment at dinner the night before that the rest was for the teenagers while also helping with the chaos of family dinner with small children?
“Yes, for her and her friend — we got it especially for THEM, the kids just got to have some for dessert last night.” How could he not know this?
“I’m so sorry, I had no idea!”
“How could you have no idea, it’s been the main topic of conversation for DAYS!” My life has revolved around Jello.
“I missed that … I’m sorry.”
At which point it clicked — while the most important thing in my life for two days had been JELLO, Justin has been working, using his brain in a job he loves that is stimulating and interesting.
I have been home with kids out of school all summer while pregnant. I’m tired. So tired, and some days my mantra has been we’re all just doing our best here.
There may or may not have been a time or two this summer when Justin tried to talk to me about some topic in the news, or piece of gossip about a mutual colleague (when I worked we worked in the same industry), and I snapped at him that I was too busy cleaning the kitchen or doing laundry or going to the library or YMCA with kids to think great thoughts like him because no one paid me to do that.
I said those words out of jealousy and frustration, because while I appreciate being a stay-at-home-mom right now, it’s also really, really draining. Digging ditches is the only thing I can think of that might be as simultaneously exhausting and tedious as being a full-time mom to littles, but at least you’re alone with your thoughts while you’re shoveling dirt, and doesn’t that count as a workout too?
Anyway. The Jello incident made me realize my brain is Jello right now. My days are sticky fingerprints and Bluey and Miss Rachel and diapers and spending 75% of my time in the kitchen because even McDonalds costs $60 now for a few burgers, nugs, fries, and a very large diet coke.
Sometimes the most exciting thing that happens in a 48-hour period is making Jello jigglers.
I chose not to be mad. Justin had left a tiny bit of the Jello so Cordelia’s friend at least got to try it. I bought more to keep in the pantry. I read the kids some books from the library. I wiped the kitchen table down for the 847th time in a day. I’m embracing the boring — because it’s not boring for my kids. They’ve got a mom who is present and loves them, and does fun things with them.
And that is an advantage of having multiple kids with a big age gap. Because I know in my bones that this stage with little kids at home isn’t going to last forever, and there is nothing in the world like when your toddler learns to say “I love you,” or your four-year-old settles into your lap for a favorite story, or your six-year-old still wants to be tucked in with dream sprinkles at night.
If you’re lucky you end up with older kids who still hug you, tell you about their lives, and don’t get too upset about their Jello being eaten. “We should have put my name on it,” was Cordelia’s comment after her brief moment of disappointment.
There’s also the light at the end of the tunnel this week — School starts next week, and this year Trinity is going to pre-k for three full mornings a week. I’ll only have one kid at home for 12 hours a week! Maybe I’ll even read a book or something.
At least until December when the next one is born.
Being a stay-at-home mom was the hardest job I’ve ever had! You are a wonderful mom, and you’re doing an amazing job.
Thanks for sharing! I love reading your posts. 💕
Have to say I rather thinks it's the male "one track mind". After many, many years I realized my husband does ONE thing, and ONLY ONE THING, at a time. No more, no less, So as long as he is on one thing that's about it whatever the "it" is. Good luck!